I was recently asked if I work with many men, and if I find it different to working with women. Of course it's different, mainly because people are individuals, we're all different. My experience has been that some men find it easy to open up, and some don't, and I could say exactly the same for the women I have worked with.
There are however some unique considerations, and it would be shortsighted to over look them. I'm aware that many men have grown up with societal expectations and enforced gender norms that discourage them from openly discussing how they feel. Men can fear appearing 'weak', so it can help to remind them of the practical benefits of counselling, such as improved relationships, problem solving skills, and stress or anger management.
Another consideration for me is my approach to communication, as I have found that many men prefer a direct and solution focused approach. Just as well really that I am quite direct, like to bring humour into my sessions, and have a practical and pragmatic approach to solving a problem! I don't do soft and fluffy when it comes to my communication style, and I'm very comfortable with colourful language. I like to think my secret superpower is making it easy for you to be yourself, and that includes using whatever language comes naturally to you.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try to make it comfortable, some men may struggle with shame or embarrassment around mental health issues, as it directly contradicts inbuilt ideas of strength and self reliance. Validating your feelings, acknowledging that you may have been raised to feel this way, and helping you recognise that it takes great strength to address mental health issues, can be a helpful place for us to start.
Regardless of gender, it is my job to build rapport, help you get comfortable and demonstrate that you can trust me, and that is ultimately a deeply personal and individual process, and one I am deeply commited to.
Comments